I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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