After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
