Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
