my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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