I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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