May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
