I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
