I forgot how hot balto sounded
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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