We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
