tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
