dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
