U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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