If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
