Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
