tell your sister to shave her snatch
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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