What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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