I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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