You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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