so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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