so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
