Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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