remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
