Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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