There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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