Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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