my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
