I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
pray to the hookup gods
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
