accomplished twins. life is a go
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
