worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
