once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
