Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
