The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
