So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
