i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
