fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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