so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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