i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
