Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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