I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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