I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
