Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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