you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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