Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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