I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
