Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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