Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
