On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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