just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
