You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Never joke about your clitoris.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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