I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
