you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
