you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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