So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
