Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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