He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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