Swine flu. Run for my life!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
