hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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