Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish my penis had an off switch
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
