Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
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Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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