my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize